Pink Mist
by AFan17
Summary: Set during the code black incident because I didn't like the ending. Oneshot. Merder.


Title: Pink Mist

Author: AFan17

A/N: Set sometime in the code black incident because I didn't like how it ended and in my head I can change that! So AU and oneshot- (I can't write chapters because I have the shortest attention span and lose interest really quickly. I have 2 WIP that'll never be completed)

Once against angst because it's so much fun and I really think it makes a better read. Also, I'm crap at fluff.

This one's for Rachel, who gave me such a lovely review I was inspired to keep writing.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

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_A hand above the water  
_

_An angel reaching for the sky  
_

_Is it raining in heaven -  
_

_Do you want us to cry?_

Meredith:

You stand there, with your hand on a frickin' bomb.

You can't move, can't talk, can't cry.

All you can think is that you're too young to die.

You woke up this morning with a vivid feeling.

You knew something was up.

And now that thing that's up could quite possibly be your time on earth.

But Dylan keeps talking to you.

Trying to reassure you.

Telling you it's going to be okay.

But you know better.

Hell, you've known since this morning.

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_A hand above the water  
_

_An angel reaching for the sky  
_

_Is it raining in heaven -  
_

_Do you want us to cry?_

They decided that it would be too dangerous to operate above the oxygen line.

So you're moving.

Slowly, ever so slowly.

Cristina appears.

And you beg her to talk something, anything.

Anything to keep your mind off the fact that you're touching explosives.

She's complaining that Burke loves her.

But you don't understand why that's a problem.

Oh, to be loved.

Cristina makes some lame joke about the fact that Burke may blow up.

And the next thing you know, you hit a snag on the floor.

Dylan stops you.

And that's when you know.

That your time on earth is up.

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_And everywhere the broken-hearted_

_On every lonely avenue_

_No-one could reach them_

_No-one but you_

Derek:

You hate what's going on.

Hate that Bailey's husband is lying vulnerable in his OR.

Hate that Bailey cannot go through the 'happiest day of her life' without him.

Hate that you may blow up any minute.

But most of all hate the fact that Meredith, the love of your life, has suddenly become 'the girl with the bomb'.

God, you could kill the stupid bastard who decided to re-enact World War Two.

But hatred isn't a good emotion when you're operating.

It annoys you.

Angers you.

Distracts you.

All you can think about is saving Bailey's husband and running to Meredith.

**88888888888888888888  
**_  
One by one  
_

_Only the Good die young  
_

_They're only flying too close to the sun  
_

_And life goes on -  
_

_Without you..._

Meredith:

Dylan's there. Burke's there.

But all you can see is Derek.

Talking to you.

Telling you it's going to be okay.

You almost believe him.

Until you hear an explosion, and your world goes black.

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_Another Tricky Situation  
_

_I get the drownin' in the Blues  
_

_And I find myself thinkin'  
_

_Well - what would you do?  
_

Derek:

Everything happens at once.

You hear an explosion.

The glass shatters.

Your team duck.

You move to cover Bailey's husband's exposed brain.

Everyone stays still for a few seconds.

Only after your team realise they won't die, do they recommence movement.

You notice more than one admiring look.

But you can't even think straight.

Let alone absorb complements.

The last half hour of the surgery flies by.

You know that you won't remember a second of this time.

Because all you're thinking of is Meredith.

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_Yes! - it was such an operation_

_Forever paying every due  
_

_Hell, you made a sensation  
_

_You found a way through - and  
_

You run out of the OR. There are people everywhere.

Surgeons, firemen, policemen, people from the bomb squad.

You see Izzie and George huddled in the corner.

You run to them.

Izzie's got tears streaming down her face.

George won't look at you.

But you won't accept this.

'Where is she?'

Izzie looks at you with those big soulful eyes.

'She didn't make it Derek.'

And with that, your world ends.

**88888888888888888888**

_One by one_

_Only the Good die young  
_

_They're only flyin' too close to the sun  
_

_We'll remember -  
_

_Forever..._

You sink to the ground.

You don't care that people are looking at you.

Don't care that you're married.

Don't care that you're not meant to be in love with your intern.

'Meredith is gone, Meredith is gone,' you chant over and over again.

The Chief walks over to you.

'I'm so sorry Derek.'

Addison is standing behind him.

She's looking at you intensely.

And you find it somehow ironic that the love you shared with Meredith only broke up your marriage after she died.

You don't look up.

The Chief puts his hand on your shoulder.

And you vomit all over his shoes.

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_And now the party must be over_

_I guess we'll never understand  
_

_The sense of your leaving  
_

_Was in the way it was planned?_

You've been alone in the trailer for a week now.

You don't pick up the phone.

Don't answer the door.

You haven't made a single excuse to work.

You don't know where Addison's been living.

And you don't really care.

You can't remember the last time you ate anything.

You look like shit.

But all you can think about is that Meredith will never be yours again.

There's a knock on the door.

You don't answer.

'Derek, it's Addison. Please answer.'

You don't say a word.

'Well, I thought you should know that they've organised a funeral for her tomorrow. She would want you to be there.'

And then she goes.

And you're left alone to wallow in your misery.

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_And so we grace another table_

_And raise our glasses one more time  
_

_There's a face at the window  
_

_And I ain't never, never sayin' goodbye...  
_

Tomorrow comes.

You've been battling with yourself all night.

You're not sure if you can make it.

You look like shit.

You can feel bones.

But she would want you to be there.

So you step in the shower.

Eat two crackers.

And put on a suit.

You still feel like shit.

But you'll do it for her.

**88888888888888888888**

_One by one_

_Only the Good die young  
_

_They're only flyin' too close to the sun  
_

_Cryin' for nothing  
_

_Cryin' for no-one  
_

_No-one but you_

At the funeral you feel everyone's eyes on you.

You see a mixture of pity and disgust.

You're not meant to be in love with her.

But those who know you know that you were.

Izzie's speaking.

Something about Meredith having a 'free spirit'.

She's crying.

George is bawling like a baby.

Even Cristina has the waterworks going.

Burke nudges you.

Apparently you're meant to say something.

You walk to the podium

And stop.

There's silence.

You can't speak.

Everyone's looking at you.

'Meredith… Meredith was different.'

Good start.

'She was crazy, and beautiful and fun. She was a good doctor. But more importantly, she was a good person.'

You have no idea where you're going with this.

'I got to know Meredith quite well over the past year. She changed my life. She changed me.'

You take a deep breath.

'Meredith touched many people. The world is not going to be the same without her.'

You can't continue.

That's enough.

You turn around and sit down.

You bury you face with your hands.

And all you can think is that your world is over without her.

-FIN


End file.
